Explain that these setbacks are a normal part of living and learning, and that they can learn from them. Your child needs to feel comfortable, not defeated, when they make mistakes or fail. This will reinforce their self-esteem and to help them connect your comments to the activity involved. ("I like the way you waited for your turn " "Good try-you're working harder " "Good job!") Give them feedback as soon as possible. Be sure to recognize even small changes and improvement. This send a message that they are doing well, pleasing others and "making it."Įncourage and praise your child not only for achieving a set goal, but also for their efforts. A sense of encouragement, support & rewardīeyond achieving goals, your child also needs positive feedback and recognition. This kind of self-awareness is critical for their future growth. It also lets them consider the consequences of the actions they may choose. This lets them reflect, reason, problem-solve. Give them expectations, guidelines and opportunities to test themselves. A sense of self-discipline & self-controlĪs your child strives to gain more independence, they need and want to feel that they can make it on their own. These choices and decisions need to be appropriate for their age and abilities, and for your family's values. Your child will feel more in control of events when they are able to make or influence decisions that they consider important. A sense of making real choices & decisions Help them by providing opportunities to participate and contribute in a meaningful way to activities. Your child needs to develop a sense of importance and commitment. This shows trust on your part, a sort of "letting go" with a sense of faith. Allow them to take on tasks without being checked on all the time. Give your child a chance to show what they are capable of doing. This means believing your child and treating them as an honest person. Toward this goal, you should keep promises, be supportive and give your child opportunities to be trustworthy. Your child needs to feel trust in you and in themself. If you overprotect them, they are too dependent on you if expectations are so high they never succeed, they may feel powerless and incapable. This helps them develop competence and confidence. Set appropriate expectations, not too low and not too high, for your child. being creative and getting results for their efforts.A sense of personal power evolves when your child has successful experiences with: Your child should feel confident in their ability to meet challenges in their life. If they lack a sense of purpose, they may feel bored, aimless, or resent being pushed in certain directions by you or others. Goal can provide an avenue for channeling their energy toward achievement and self-expression. Your child should have goals that give them purpose and direction. Without this acceptance or group identity, they may feel rejected, lonely and adrift. This begins with their family and then extends to groups such as friends, schoolmates, sports teams, house of worship, and even a neighborhood or community. Your child needs to feel accepted and loved by others. Your child must feel secure about themselves and their future. Here are some of the building blocks that contribute to healthy self-esteem: The closer a child's perceived self (how they see themselves) comes to their ideal self (how they would like to be), the higher their self-esteem.ġ2 traits your child needs to build for healthy self-esteem This includes how they are thought of and treated by parents, teachers and friends. It is also shaped by the perceptions and expectations of significant people in their life. It plays a central role in a child's motivation and achievements in school, social relationships and their ability to bounce back from setbacks ( resilience).Ī child's self-esteem is shaped by their own thoughts and feelings about their ability to achieve in ways that are important to them. Self-esteem is the way we perceive ourselves.
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